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this was gonna be like, a two-pannel thing, until i realized i can't write so went for a wordless thing. that means i had to draw more pictures.

this is also why i won't do comics.
CONSISTENT COLOURING?? WHAT IN GOD'S GREEN ASSHOLE IS THAT.

these ponies make me feel feelings awh fuck

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Submitted on: November 13, 2011
Image Size: 1.0 MB
Resolution: 900×964

Views: 27,041 (5 today)
Favourites: 1,363 (who?)
Comments: 119
Downloads: 812

Critique by *Caerdwyn Nov 15, 2011, 10:07:29 AM

Good, emotional storytelling. "D'aww-generating".

MLP just seems to do that to people...

You have an interesting style here. A little bit Don Bluth-ish, especially in the head-shaping and nose/jaw proportions. This is in no way a bad thing; it's very good to see these characters drawn in the artist's own style. "Show-accurate" is fine; "expressive" is better. Pure win.

I really like the lighting you use in the last panel.

From a storytelling perspective, without any sort of narrative it takes a little while to figure out that it's Twilight who is feeling down. It's not apparent until the second-to-last panel that she's been crying; going back to previous panels then confirms that this is what's been going on. However, I think a little more could be done up front to set the stage. More contrast on the tears in panel 2, perhaps, and/or some lighting effects in panel 1 to emphasize an "isolation" feeling.

I'm not sure about the use of the yellow outlines in the middle row of panels. You don't do that elsewhere in the piece, and I think there's enough contrast that you can get away without them. If you do want to outline, perhaps using either a neutral gray (i.e. from the moonlight) or the characters' edge-colors would be best.

The only other suggestion I have is that in the second-to-last panel, Spike's left arm (the one nearest the viewer) is drawn smaller than the right arm (reaching for Twilight). Perspective-wise, it should be the other way around.

Thanks for sharing a nice piece of work

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